Betterness by Kawika Holbrook

Child’s Play

Computers are hard to use. They’re not intuitive or obvious. They’re complicated, confusing, and clunky, doing the wrong things at the wrong time. So what good would it do to open a computer center in the slums of Delhi and offer internet access to illiterate street children? You might be surprised.

Indecent Proposals

“When a client sends you a request for a proposal (RFP), she has usually spent many hours explaining her business, describing her intended audience and their needs, and outlining a set of focused site goals.” In Jeffery Zeldman’s article, you’ll learn how best to ignore all this crap. “If you want to avoid getting the job, fire up your word processor, locate your standard boilerplate proposal, and do a quick search and replace on company names. That ought to be good enough for her. You’re an important Web developer with a lot on your mind, and, after all, nobody’s paying you yet.” Hilarity ensues.

French Whines Aren’t Selling

French winemakers can teach all of us a thing or two about marketing, specifcally what to avoid. First, have the government set strict limits on what type of grapes can be grown where, how they’re planted and picked, and even what caskets can store them. Then demand that labels be based according to one of 450 geographical origins. Finally, watch almost 900 local cooperatives to market their wares individually and fight over shelf space. What do you get? Five percent of the market and falling. The majority of this market comprises consumers like me. Do I remember which wine goes with what and why? No. Have I irrevocably damaged my pallet with Mountain Dew? Yes. Conglomerates from the US, Australia, and Chile know this. They coddle me by (a) creating single-grape varietals such as Chardonnay (easier to drink), (b) serving a range of offerings at different prices (easier to upgrade), and© keeping it under one label (easier to remember). Of course, purists are appalled and, as usual, Gallic tempers are flaring. Hmmm. All this marketing meham makes me thirsty for a fruit-flavored pop varietal.

Grave Robber Barons

Microsoft lies, cheats, and steals. You knew that, of course. But did you know that Microsoft also digs up dead people to implore Utah’s attorney general to ignore its conduct as a monopoly? Impressive collection of grave robbers, robber barons, and PR flacks.

Replies: one comment so far...

The lying: A Microsoft VP told BusinessWeek, “We out-innovated Netscape, and we’re out-innovating Real.” No, you didn’t.

The cheating: Wall Street Journal’s Walter Mossberg: “When you install Windows XP, the new Windows Messenger instant-messaging system is installed by default, and you are nagged to sign up by creating an account with Passport, Microsoft’s proprietary password service. If you do, you find you’re connected to Microsoft’s proprietary MSN instant-messaging service, even if all your friends and family are on the more established AOL service.” Amen, brother.

The stealing: From CNET.com’s Software Reviews of Windows Media Player 7.0: “Doesn’t support RealMedia audio or video streaming; can’t record in MP3 format; won’t work with a Mac.”

One can only hope Judge Colleen Kollar-Kotelly is paying attention.

posted by at 04:14 a.m. on tuesday, august 28, 2001

Good Connections

FireWire is a great example of technology branding. Apple developed the Emmy-winning standard in the mid-1990s as a simpler and faster way for Macs to connect to peripherals. Now major computer and digital device makers license the technology. Unfortunately for most of them, they continue to call the connection “IEEE 1394,” it’s technical name. Sony calls it i.Link. But Apple, knowing a thing or two about branding, dubbed it FireWire. The name connotes so much so well, that reporters have a difficult time sticking with the technical name in a story. In a small way, it’s like Kleenex or Band-aid—two brand names that define their products to the exclusion of all other brand names.

posted at 04:51 p.m. on monday, august 27, 2001

I wanted to include a link to the brand story or timeline for Kleenex. However, I first had to sit through a 100+k Flash intro, which was useless. I then had to choose my country site. Moreover, I had to accept their cookie for the country site or my choice would reveal nothing. I mean nothing. Not a single graphic or word on the page. I’m using a Mac and the latest Microsoft browser, neither of which should cause any problems with a major site. For the record, the link is: http://www.kleenex.com/us/bts/index.asp

Half and Half

"Half the job of an entrepreneur is telling the market what it wants. The other half is listening to what it wants. Nobody ever asked for a Mac or a Web broswer. Once you do the product, then you have to listen." Marc Andreessen, as reported in the September, 2000 issue of Wired.

Quoth the Maven

“If you would not be forgotten, as soon as you are dead and rotten, either write things worthy reading, or do things worth the writing.”—Benjamin Franklin (hat-tip to d_limiter)