Betterness by Kawika Holbrook

Rock, Paper, Payoff

Christie's or Sotheby's? When you can't decide between auction houses for your $20-million art collection, have them choose for you.

"Everybody knows you always start with scissors," an 11-year-old daughter of a Christie's employee said. "Rock is way too obvious, and scissors beats paper." Her sister piped in. "Since they were beginners, scissors was definitely the safest," she said, adding that if the other side were also to choose scissors and another round was required, the correct play would be to stick to scissors - because, as Alice explained, "Everybody expects you to choose rock."

Guess who won?

Sickly Motors

Health-care costs GM $1,400 for every vehicle it plans on selling this year. GM now has 2.5 retirees for every active worker. GM needs to sell more cars. Or needs healthier employees. Or both. Ouch.

Sticker Bumpers

I spotted the upteenth honor student bumper sticker on an SUV this week. In my twisted, passive-aggressive fantasy world, I would design a series of "sticker bumpers" -- additions that anyone can affix next to owner's sticker choice to stimulate discussion.

For example, let's add the following to My Child Is an Honor Student at Petersen Middle School:

"...which won't matter much if he doesn't grow gills to breathe underwater after my SUV exhaust helps melts glaciers in Antarctica."

Sticker bumpers should also be really hard to peel off. Because.

No Teacher Left Behind

Republicans used to talk smack amount Democrats' unfunded mandates and federal intervention in local schools. Now the nation's largest teachers' union and eight school districts are suing the Department of Education because they lack the federal funds for the federally mandated No Child Left Behind Act. D'oh!

Off Cruise Control

What does it take to escape a rut? A combination of self-awareness, strategic planning, and perseverance. Juggezine has five tips for finding your way out.

Who Do...

Voodoo, Voodoo, or Voodoo?

Tougher Love on Debtors

While I'm obsessing about money here, pending bankruptcy reform will, according to Republicans, eliminate the last refuge of gamblers, impulsive shoppers, child support evaders, and celebrities sheltering assets from creditors ... or, according to Democrats, the reform bill will punish low-income working people, single mothers, minorities and the elderly, and would remove a safety net for those who have lost their jobs or face crushing medical bills while protecting credit industry.

Most likely, both scenarios are true. How then should we protect the luckless and punish the naughty? Points, baby. Parse the creditor's purchasing data on the customer to award points. We all like points. The more points you've earned, the more bankruptcy protection you get. Use your points to Some examples:

-- Lost your job? One point for you.
-- Bought $4 iced mocha lattes after losing your job? Lose a point.
-- Shop at Wal-Mart for your kids' clothes? Two points for you (one, because you're frugal, and the second because your kids have to wear Wal-Mart clothes).
-- Bought a ring-tone for you cellie? Lose two points (one, because you're an ass for paying $2.50 and two because you're annoying in restaurants).
-- Contributed to a politcal campaign, awarded management millions in bonuses, and then declared bankruptcy after looting the employee pension fund? Mandatory loss of all points and a mandatory upgrade to one prison rape.

My uncle Jay gave me best advice I ever received about money: "It's not how much you make, it's how much you save." Just save more than you spend.

Tough Love for Debtors

Last year, credit-card issuers raked in $30 billion in profits from liberal lending policies and punishing fees. Cardholders who can only pay the minimum are facing some tough love as monthly payments must cover fees, interest and at least some of the outstanding borrowing. I have to say how happy it makes me to pay off our balance in full every month. Every time we splurge on a high-ticket appliance for the home, we put it on a no-interest card and pay it off before the rates rise. I'm worried, though, that all the opening and closing of credit cards is just increasing our risk of identity theft. We're cutting up cards until we have two left. Let's see how long that lasts.

Binge and Purge

This is the most succinct, sad explanation of the dollar's plunge I've read in a while.

Americans spend a lot more than they save. American consumers, of course, are known for living on credit, and they buy hundreds of billions of dollars’ worth a year of foreign goods—cars, TVs, T-shirts, khakis. In addition, since 2001 the American government has been running giant budget deficits, thanks to the magical combination of tax cuts and spending increases. We don’t have enough money at home to pay for all this spending, so we borrow from foreigners to make up the difference. Because we keep piling on this foreign debt—more than three trillion dollars so far—and have no clear strategy for paying it back, people are made anxious about the United States economy; this anxiety encourages them to sell dollars, and that drives down the value of our currency.

America imported $61 billion more in February than it exported. How much longer can we binge before our creditors purge? I worry about this so much that I'm paying off balances from zero-interest credit cards just to clear the deck. Debt -- mine, the country's, the idea -- scares the hell out of me sometimes.

Badges? We Don't Need No Stinkin' Badges!

I love reader comments in specialty blogs. From an AutoBlog story about General Motor's decision to badge every car it makes for North America, including SAAB, with two GM logos. The response? One hundred percent vitrol:

• "Say you had a brother who was addicted to crystal meth. And instead of going into rehab, he took up skiing. It's kind of like that."
• "At a time when the company is careening because it has umpteen
  bazillion different brands all cannibalizing each other and drawing
  ridiculous distinctions between each other -- at a time when GM is
  really, honestly trying to make the brands stand for unique values -- it
  is, at the SAME TIME, going to link them all together using the name of
  the holding company."
• "It would be funny if so many thousands of jobs were not on the line."

Welcome to feedback, GM.