Betterness by Kawika Holbrook

Category 5 Election

If this keeps up, voters may have to start thinking about national security in a more realistic, holistic fashion. This is turning out to be Gulf War III.

Greenhawks

I haven’t found a political party that suits me. Republicans are too involved with nation building, deficit spending, and weakening our national security. Democrats aren't the aggressive progressives they claim when they drown our future in entitlement program payments. Libertarians are too self-centered. Greens seem to ignore national defense altogether. And the earnest, well-meaning American Reform Party has a dull webpage.

If I were a charismatic leader of vision, substance and fortitude, I start the Greenhawks. The party's five pillars of national strength:

1. Environmental protection. Wilderness, wetlands, fresh water, open spaces, greenways, public transit—America will implode without them.


2. Fiscal restraint. Tighten our belts, balance the budget, pay down the debt, and save pork-barrel spending for the history books.


3. National defense. Not the Republican's Department of Offense. Reforms like what Rumsfled wanted before he went off the deep end. Afghanistan, not Iraq. Special Forces, not divisions. Quadruple funding for the Peace Corps. Start of the art armor and communications gear. Skip the Seawolf subs and missle defense systems. Win some Muslim hearts and minds with long-term commitments to justice, not short-term rhetoric about liberty.


4. Energy independence. Nuclear, solar, wind, biomass -- whatever it takes to kick the fossil fuel habit within a decade.


5. Educational initiatives. Whatever it takes to make the U.S. number one in literacy, math, science and critical reasoning. One-hundred-thousand-dollar starting salaries for teachers? A dozen kids per class? Laptops for everyone? Charter schools? Uniforms? Let the best ideas win.

Of course, there's health care, infrastructure, crime, and Martha Stewart to address. Of course, Americans don't like hearing about shared sacrifice any longer. Unfortunately, other people already bought the good greenhawk URLs. And I don't stand up straight.

Think I'll go eat some fast food.

Telelies

Found this list and thought of a few automated voice responses I've heard recently:

• "Please listen carefully as our options have changed." Doubtful. And even if they have, so what? Just tell me what my options are.
• "We are experiencing unusually high call volume." Not unusual enough that you don't have a recording for it.
• "Your call is important to us." Important enough to answer with a recording?
• "We're sorry, but you have reached us after normal business hours." You're not sorry. You don't want to deal with my problem at this hour, just as I don't want to have the problem at this hour.

Man, am I cranky sometimes.

The Law of Evolution

"Evolution is a law (with several components) that is as well substantiated as any other natural law, whether the law of gravity, the laws of motion or Avogadro's law. Evolution is a fact, disputed only by those who choose to ignore the evidence, put their common sense on hold and believe instead that unchanging knowledge and wisdom can be reached only by revelation." -- Nobel laureate James D. Watson, co-discoverer of the molecular structure of DNA

.Mac Additions

Apple added groups and a gigabyte of storage to .Mac last night. The service is more elegant than Yahoo, Google, and MSN, but not nearly as capacious or robust. Still my home of choice, though.

Onlife

Every last thing I do on my Mac stored in a digital shoebox/calendar/lifestream thing. Never did I know how little I do.

WiFly

I want free wireless access to the web anywhere in the Bay Area. Pipe dream? Perhaps not. Google just posted a page for Google Secure Access (GSA), a PC-only program for creating secure connections to Google's Wi-Fi locations. Until this moment, these hotspots were rumors only. But routing traffic through your servers, like GSA does, is expensive. I wonder what data Google wants to collect and analyze, because surely they want something for this extra service. Right? (Oh, and the Betterness brand name for a free service such as this? WiFly. I kind of like it.)

Relief Accountability

Some people were caught using Red Cross debit cards at Victoria's Secret, Circuit City and Hooters. Perhaps thongs, PlayStations, and chicken wings aren't the best use of hurricane Katrina donations, but the program's accountability is far greater when merchants see the humanitarian agency's logo on the card. The money will be far easier to track with the issuing bank's summary statements. And just wait for the public outcry when fraud is found. Overall, I think the cards were a swift and savvy response to the immediate needs of the Gulf Coast victims -- at least far more swift and savvy than FEMA's feeble efforts.

Donate FEMA to the Red Cross

From a branding perspective, FEMA is dead in the water. America's whole emergency response system needs to be reconsidered, thoughtfully, so I'm sure our elected officials won't just donate FEMA's staff and budget to the Red Cross. But it sure doesn't sound as if the federal agency can do any worse right now -- even if tempers are short everywhere.

Do Not Pass Go

"There are no retirees eating cat food because of Dennis Kozlowski."

Despite that ringing endorsement from a defense attorney, Tyco's former CEO and CFO are going to spend at least eight years in prison for stealing $600 million from the company, including a $2 million toga birthday party for the CEO's wife on a Mediterranean island and an $18 million Manhattan apartment with a $6,000 shower curtain. Somehow, though, they only have to pay a total of $134 million in restitution and $105 million in fines. Perhaps a few prison rapes will make up for the difference.